Top 10 things you should be aware of before you child enteres high school...
1. Nobody Gets through high school unscathed so make nothing off limits in your daily discussions. Sex, weed, STDs/protection, drinking, shoplifting, consent, sneaking out, parties, racism, bullying, heartbreak... it may be uncomfortable but it’s all open for discussion.
2. Forcing your child to be good doesn’t mean you have a good child. You probably have a sneaky child. Set clear boundaries and let them make mistakes so they can learn how to be accountable for their actions and face consequences. (Grounded at 14 is far better than jail at 20)
3. You only get one shot at a first reaction so DON’T OVERREACT. You can always go back and be a little firmer but you can never take back harsh words said in anger. If you blow it… Apologize. every. single. time.
4. When they do mess up, don’t attack their character. They’re not a slutty, a thief, a compulsive liar, lazy or stupid. They’re good people making bad decisions. Keep your focus on their actions and making better choices for their future.
5. Their brains will not be fully formed until well after graduation so understand they WILL make stupid, impulsive decisions. When they say they don’t know why they did it… Sometimes that’s actually true.
6. There’s nothing wrong with a C. Don’t make perfection your standard for them.
7. It’s easy to forget how much we wanted to fit in back in high school. The security you have with who you are and handling peer pressure has taken you 30+ years to develop. They want to be liked by their peers too and will be influenced by them. Just help them to see which ones truly care about their well-being and which ones don’t.
8. Suicide is real and they have to know you will help them get through anything that life brings. Continue to tell them over and over that there’s NOTHING so bad we can’t get through as a family.
9. Make sure they understand consent in every situation.
teach them how to be assertive. Practice high pressure scenarios with them saying no.
If the other person is drunk... the answer is no. If the other person is not sure... the answer is no. Anything short of a sober yes… The answer is no.
10. Finally...Your child’s behavior is not a reflection of how good a parent you are. Don’t pat yourself on the back when they do something great and don’t beat yourself up when they make poor choices. It’s NOT about you.
Just remember we’re all in this together. There’s no trophy at graduation for having the perfect child so embrace all the “teachable moments” along the way!
Baba
